Spring Clean my Love Handles (and Life)!

Spring is gradually making its presence known and I, like many others, find myself longing for something different, something new and exciting. I want fresh air, sunshine and rainbows! I want white wine instead of red and (dare I say it) salad. –For those of you that don’t know salad is the one thing you will almost never see me order. So what if I’m a vegetarian? I still appreciate hearty meals. Give me melted butter, creamy potatoes and thick, cream sauces every day and I will die happy… in a hospital… with high blood pressure, diabetes, and a smile.

But spring is here and it is time to put away my gluttony and shed some of my winter weight. I must wean myself off oversized sweatshirts and perhaps even say goodbye to the thick, creamy soups that are responsible for a good chunk of my winter love handles.

Someday I might be persuaded to join a gym… maybe. I do occasionally walk around the block and opt for green tea instead of coffee. That counts, right?

The real motivation for change has more to do with aesthetics than health: I miss showing my legs! I want to shave and buff and polish until my stems are once again capable of stopping traffic. Superficial? Absolutely, but I’ll work with what I got. Does it matter why I put on my workout clothes as long as I get out there?

A New Year, A New Me

I started 2012 with mixed feelings. As impulsive as I am, I sometimes have difficulty with change. It’s scary, it’s unknown and worst of all, it’s inevitable. A few moments before midnight my sister and I decided we were too young to stay home and fled to a local bar in North Hollywood called The Federal Bar. It’s a hip, new place that caters to business-types, the kind of place where you can find people of all ages partying like it's 1999, or 1979. The men wear suits just casual enough to be unpretentious. 

We arrived about 30 minutes before midnight only to discover a club existed upstairs. Wasn’t that a providential surprise? The $20 entrance fee wasn’t so bad. We bought Tokyo teas and were able to fight our way to the crowded dance floor where we positioned ourselves just underneath the netted balloons.

The countdown began and everywhere I turned there were hopeful smiles and sloppy kisses. We shouted until our voices grew hoarse and then hugged and greeted the New Year with eager fist pumps to a monotonous techno beat.

It was magical, a spectacle of unrestrained merriment, yet I felt reserved. What would the New Year bring? How would my life change? Was I ready to be changed? My phone exploded with texts. Facebook and Twitter sent the same message reworded a hundred different ways: “Happy New Year!” 

A new year brings a new me. The unknown arrived and for a moment I teetered with uncertainty. I hesitated as a wave of doubts washed over me. What if my resolutions fail? What if I don’t loose those 10 lbs? What if I don’t manage to publish a book this year? What if I don’t meditate more, or eat healthier meals? What if the New Year doesn’t bring a better year? 

It is frightening to imagine all the ways 2012 could go wrong, the disasters that could occur and tragedies that might plague me. But as I forced myself to continue shouting with the crowd, I realized those events were just speculation. The real tragedy would be to live in fear and let worry rob me of happiness. 

I continued to dance and flirt. I laughed and gradually discovered that my smile was genuine. Change is coming, but I don’t let it ruin my present. The unknown doesn’t have to be scary. Though I don’t know what 2012 will bring, I’ll keep dancing and pumping my fist to the beat.